Demon Lord in Modern Times
by Rebecca the Eccentric Crackpot
Summary: The name kind of says it all. Sesshomaru gets stuck in Kagome's time due to a cruel twist of fate, and problems soon arise...Originally meant to be a humor story, but the genre changed. . What else is new?
1. The Chaos Begins

"ACHOO!" Rin sneezed.  
Jaken looked up, as Rin blew her nose on her kimono.  
"Rin! You shouldn't do that..." warned Jaken, "We don't get to wash our clothes very often.  
"Not at all!", Rin volunteered, and sneezed again.  
"RIN!"  
"Sesshomaru-sama! Jaken's annoying me!"  
"So?" was the response, "I, Sesshomaru, do not care."  
"But, Sesshomaru-sama..."  
"Jaken is a pest. Have you not learned that by now?"  
"I've learned that he's useless."  
"RIIIIIIIIN!" Jaken was annoyed by now. Rin sneezed so hard she sat down.  
"Sesshobaru-saba, do't you tink you should heal me wit Tedseiga?" Rin asked, heavily congested.  
"No." Sesshomaru said flatly, and kept walking.  
"Why dot?"  
"Because it will make you stronger." They kept walking, Rin sneezing on the way, when they heard voices. Familiar voices.  
  
"I'm telling you, I was sick, but I tried that stuff that Kagome gave me, and I felt better quite soon!"  
Another voice was heard, the voice of a well-known monk.  
"I still don't believe you, Sango."  
"Will you guys stop arguing? Don't you want to get more shards of the Shikon no Tama?"  
That voice...It made Sesshomaru twitch when he heard that voice. The voice of a hanyou, a half demon. The voice of his brother.  
"SIT, Inuyasha!" yelled the last voice, "You do NOT try to take the shards! Haven't you learned that already?"  
At that, Sesshomaru strode into the clearing. Inuyasha turned a ghastly white, and pointed.  
"Sess...Sessh...Sessho..Sesshoma..."  
"Are you a half-wit? Of course it is Sesshomaru."  
Inuyasha cringed.  
"Are you so weak that you cower at my very name? I have not come to fight."  
Sango, Miroku, and Kagome all gave him frightened looks and hid behind nearby trees.  
"In fact, I've come to ask you a favor."  
"Oh, Reeeeeeaaaaally? What would the great Sesshomaru-sama want from a half demon like me?" Inuyasha taunted.  
Sesshomaru laid his hand on Toukojin. Inuyasha blanched, and took a few steps back. Rin sneezed. They heard voices from the trees.  
"See, Sango? I told you that chemical stuff didn't heal you!"  
"That wasn't me sneezing, you idiot!" Sesshomaru saw a very human arm reach out of the tree, and slap the neighboring tree.  
"Sangooooo! Do you want to meet my Kazaana?"  
A few insects flew by.  
"...Drat."  
"Precisely."  
"...Huh?" said Inuyasha, turning back to his conversation with Sesshomaru.  
"I said, 'precisely', half breed."  
"Grrrrr..." Inuyasha growled, as he grabbed Tetsusaiga's hilt. Sesshomaru unsheathed Toukojin slightly, oh so slightly...just enough for the light to catch the blade. Again, Inuyasha turned white, and stumbled backwards.  
"I need the girl to help me."  
Inuyasha was shocked.  
"W-what? You...you mean...Sango?"  
The tree that slapped the other emitted a low growl.  
"No, fool. The girl from the future. Kagome, isn't it?" Sesshomaru strode over to the tree that Kagome was hiding behind, and picked her up by her blouse. "Rin, come here."  
Rin skipped up happily. "Hi, Iduyasha! Sesshobaru-saba told be you're ad idiot. Do't worry, sobe people are just daturally stu - "  
"Rin, be quiet around this slobbering fool."  
Inuyasha growled.  
"As you can tell by her voice, Rin is sick. I need the girl to bring her into the future and get some healing potions for her."  
"...Can't you just heal her with Tenseiga?" asked Kagome, still being held on to by the back of her blouse.  
"Um..." Sesshomaru had expected them to be too stupid to remember the Tenseiga. He needed to think of something - quickly. "Tenseiga doesn't heal someone more than once," he lied. "And I've already used it on her."  
"Twice." Jaken hastily volunteered.  
"NO, NOT TWICE, YOU IDIOT!" Sesshomaru yelled ask he kicked Jaken sky-high. Two heads came out from behind two trees, staring and sweatdropping. A toad-ish thing came down from the sky, between the two disagreeing trees. One of the trees yelled "EW!".  
"Should I suck it in with my Kazaana? asked the other. A few insects flew by.  
"...Drat." 


	2. Problems Arise

"So anyway," said Sesshomaru, slightly smirking, "this human must bring Rin into the future and heal her, or feel my wrath."  
"You don't leave much choice, do you, Sesshomaru?" Kagome asked sarcastically.  
"No, indeed I do not. And you do not wish to feel my claws."  
"How do you know?" asked one of the trees, as it reached out with a human arm to fondle the other tree.  
"MIROKU, YOU PERVERT!" screamed the other tree.  
Whack.  
"YOu're acting like you really want to meet my Kazaana..."  
A few insects flew by.  
"...Drat."  
Sesshomaru regarded the two trees with cold amusement.  
"So, girl, it is your choice," Without waiting for an answer, he said "Fetch me Ah-Un, Jaken."  
"Right away, Sesshomaru-sama!"  
While they were waiting for Jaken, Sesshomaru stared with cold amusement at Kagome, who was terrified of the demon lord's expression. In fact, she was just terrified of him altogether.  
When Jaken came back, Ah-Un in tow, Sesshomaru nonchalantly picked Kagome up, and heaved her onto Ah-Un's back, not caring how she was struggling. Rin just climbed up happily in front of the terrified Kagome.  
They took off, Sesshomaru flying in front of the dragon-ish demon.  
When the well was in sight, Sesshomaru called out.  
"Oh, and there's one condition," he yelled.  
"W-what's tha...that?" she called, still afraid of Sesshomaru's wrath.  
"I'm coming with you."  
  
Back in the clearing, Inuyasha was throwing a fit.  
"THAT IDIOT! SESSHOMARU WILL KILL HER! THAT STUPID...THAT MORON!"  
"You weren't paying attention to their conversation, were you, Inuyasha?" said one of the trees, as a head of messy hair came out. The head of a before-mentioned perverted monk.  
"WHY WOULD I NEED TO?! ALL I KNOW IS KAGOME LEFT WITH MY BROTHER!"  
"Umm, Inuyasha? All he wanted was for Kagome to bring that little girl into the future and heal her..." said another head coming out from behind another tree. The head of a well-known demon-slayer.  
"Oh."  
  
The scene changes again, to in modern times, in the well.  
Kagome helped Rin climb out of the well, while Sesshomaru just flew up.  
"This is where you live?" he remarked about the shrine. "Pitiful."  
"This isn't my house..." Kagome and Rin climbed the stairs, while Sesshomaru just glided up.  
When they reached the top, Sesshomaru looked at Kagome with a steely gaze.  
"What have you done to the air?" he asked coldly.  
"It isn't me, mostly, it's other people," she said timidly. "They polluted it."  
Sesshomaru cast her an angry glare. "Humans..."  
They entered Kagome's house, and her mom called out.  
"Kagome! Finally! Your friends have been by, we told them that you had the flu, and didn't want them to catch it..."  
Rin coughed. Kagome's mom looked.  
"...Who are these people?"  
"Rin, and Sesshomaru...sama," she said, pointing to them respectfully. She walked up to her mom. "Mom, do NOT annoy Sesshomaru. He's a demon lord. He'll kill you without hesitation..." Sesshomaru was staring at them. Kagome gulped, and her mother took a few steps backwards.  
"W-would you - you like some t-tea, Sesshomaru-s-sama?" she asked.  
"Fool. Human food does nothing for me," he replied coldly. "Bring me one of your healing elixirs...for Rin."  
Rin sneezed at the appropriate time, then went into a bout of coughing.  
"Oh goodness..." said Kagome's mom, and went to fetch a cough drop. When she came back, and gave the cough drop to Rin, she addressed a certain demon lord again.  
"M-make your-yourself at home, Sesshomaru-sama..."  
"Be so kind as to spare me your idiocy, human," he replied cooly, as he strode over to a chair. Sota came into the kitchen.  
"Hi Kagome! Hi Inuyasha! What happened to your doggy ears? What happened to your cheeks? What happened to your arm? And you changed your clothes!"  
Sesshomaru stood up.  
"Human fool, do not mention the name of my half-breed brother." He picked Sota up., and threw him across the room. "Fool. Leave me alone, unless you wish to feel the caress of my claws."  
Kagome ran off to the medicine cabinet, to fetch some flu medicine. When she returned, she pushed it into Rin's hands.  
"Here Rin, take this. Don't you think you should be getting back now?" she said, worried about more injuries to her family.  
"I have no more business in this worthless place," replied Sesshomaru, giving Kagome's kitchen a steely glare.  
"Then let's go back to the well..."  
They returned to the well, and tried to return to medieval times.  
The well wouldn't let them.  
They were stuck.  
'This is going to be a looooong night...' thought Kagome. 


	3. GENRE CHANGE!

IMPORTANT:  
Gomen nasai, minasan! This was originally supposed to be a humor story, but now it's becoming dark and brooding . . . And Sesshomaru's lines are scaring the poor authoress. Most likely because her alter-ego is supplying her with them, but that's beside the point. Yeah.  
So, while it will still be funny at times, it is becoming creepy. . Gomen! If you're looking for more humor, I'd suggest you leave now. . . Oro.  
  
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Sesshomaru glared at Kagome, and suddenly became very interested in his claws.  
"Human, you devised this plot to trap me! You shall pay for your insolence!" Kagome screamed. Tokojin was halfway out of it's sheath when the door to the shrine opened and Kagome's mother burst in, bowing profusely.  
"P...please don't k-k-kill my daughter, Sessh...Sessho...maru-sama..."  
Sesshomaru regarded her coldly (as always) and said,  
"Don't worry, you'll be with her soon enough." He stroked Tokojin, and turned his attention back to Kagome.  
Kagome searched frantically for something to get her away from her doom.  
"But...but I'm not worthy to be killed by you, Sesshomaru-sama!" she said, bowing low.  
"Fool. I have killed thousands of bandits, the lowest of the low. What would make you unworthy of my sword?" he said quietly, advancing slowly, sword in hand. Kagome was backed up against the well, sputtering.  
"I...I, um...Umm...I..."  
Just then, an annoying voice broke the intensity.  
"Gwak!" it yelled, "I must find Sesshomaru-sama!"  
"Hi, Jaken-sama!" said an orange and white rocket, going into the well.  
"Rin, get back here!" Sesshomaru called, sheathing Tokojin, apparently having forgotten to murder Kagome.  
"Yes sir!" Rin climbed the ladder, Jaken in tow.  
Seeing that Sesshomaru was preoccupied at the moment, and seemingly had forgotten his intention to chop Kagome into tiny bits, Kagome began to quietly climb the stairs, hoping that a certain demon lord wouldn't notice.  
Unfortunately, the demon lord quite obviously did notice. He strode over and picked her up by the neck (like the time when he was about to poke Inuyasha's eye out). Kagome struggled, for the ability to breathe, and to keep Sesshomaru's poisonous talons away from her blood vessels.  
"Idiot human," Sesshomaru said softly, dropping Kagome into a crumpled heap at his feet. Amusement glinted in his eyes as he gazed down at the terrified girl, "Do you truly believe that you can escape me?" He gestured at the open door, which was growing darker every minute.  
"It is nightfall. Lead us to your chamber." He took Rin's hand (Rin had learned to stay out of stuff like this) and strode towards the door, Jaken trailing behind. Kagome's mom, who had been standing silently in horror, raised a quivering finger and pointed at Jaken.  
"That thing's not coming into my house."  
Sesshomaru looked amused.  
"As you wish," he said.  
  
In the hall, they encountered Sota, who promptly turned white at the sight of Sesshomaru. Rin, on the other hand, turned a different color; bright red. She clung to Sesshomaru's leg, making the demon stop walking.  
"What is it, Rin?" Rin pointed at Sota.  
"Do you want me to kill him for you?" said Sesshomaru, as calmly as he were talking about the weather. Rin shook her head furiously, and Sesshomaru looked bored.  
"If you insist," he said.  
  
When they entered Kagome's room, Kagome immediately said,  
"You can have the bed, Sesshomaru-sama." Sesshomaru glanced coldly at her.  
"I do not need sleep," he said, striding over to a chair by the window.  
"Then, um, then Rin can have it."  
"Rin will sleep on my . . . fluffy thing." (A/n: What the heck is it?) Rin happily bounced over to the chair on which Sesshomaru was sitting, causing Kagome to sweatdrop.  
"Er . . . " Kagome had absolutely no intention of sleeping in Sesshomaru's presence. She didn't want to die yet. She turned off her light switch, and sat nervously upon her bed. She was going to pretend to sleep all night, but run if Sesshomaru showed any sign of wanting to kill her. However, she had been lying there for about ten minutes, when Sesshomaru spoke, rather quietly.  
"You're still awake, girl."  
"I - I'm not tired," Kagome lied quickly, but she couldn't stifle a huge yawn. The demon laughed softly, silhouetted by the light of the full moon. He stood up, setting the fast asleep Rin on the chair, and before Kagome could bolt, she felt the flat side of Tokojin against her throat.  
"Girl, remember that if I want to kill you, it doesn't matter if you're awake or asleep." Kagome's stomach gave a horrible lurch as she realized that this was quite true. She forced herself to sleep, happily and dreamlessly.  
  
(Random A/n: Why is my mom singing Christmas songs in random germanic languages?)  
  
Kagome woke to her bed bouncing up and down, and a child's voice saying her name repeatedly.  
"Go 'way, Sota," she muttered groggily. She'd had a horrible dream, about Sesshomaru being stuck in her time. She pulled her pillow over her head, and made to go back to sleep. However, this was not to be. The pillow lifted above her, and the child's voice said,  
"If you don't get up, Sesshomaru-sama says he'll wake you with Tokojin!" Kagome sat bolt upright. This was not what she wished to wake up to. Sesshomaru looked highly amused at the prospect of waking her with Tokojin. Rin was jumping on Kagome's bed.  
"Get up, human," said Sesshomaru, his cold amber eyes glinting in the light of the newly risen sun. Kagome immediately obliged, and stood up.  
She realized that she had been sleeping in her now-very-wrinkled uniform.  
"Um, would you guys leave while I change my clothes?" she asked nervously. Sesshomaru swept out of the room, Rin on his heels, and Kagome shut the door behind them. She quickly changed, and realized; she could escape through the window! She opened it and sat on the windowsill, when a hand grabbed her leg and pulled her down.  
She looked at the owner of the hand.  
It was Sesshomaru. Kagome silently swore as he unsheathed Tokojin and backed her against the wall. He held Tokojin to her forehead, and spoke.  
"Girl," he said softly, "I know your plans. You will not escape me." (A/n: How he got good at mind reading is completely beyond me.) Her forehead slowly trickled blood, and he pulled his sword away from her and sheathed it. Kagome collapsed in a sobbing heap at his feet, and he gazed coldly down at her.  
"Remember, human, you are only alive as long as I wish you to be."  
  
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Well, zat is ze end of ze chapter! See what I mean about the demon lord's lines scaring the author? Sesshomaru wishes for another word with you . . .  
"Review, human, or I'm afraid I shall have to kill you."  
  
THERE! 


End file.
